Theresa M RavenHawk

.... I didn't have anyone's number when I was in jail. They wouldn't give me my address book with all my numbers in it. Assholes

I used Kindle to do a running commentary on the American Standard Version of the Bibble that you can access here: Theresa's Commentary.

I think the Bible is full of fiction (mythology). Most of it carries no more weight than any other mythology. I believe sometimes people hallucinated God or heard the devil instead of God. I do believe in the devil. I do believe I heard him call me a "sh*thead" and "sh*t for brains." I don't believe he's capable of doing more then talking to people inside their heads, but still he orchestrates wars, racism, and rape. All of those things are anathema to my God/dess. I don't understand why people would worship the devil. He doesn't create life, but he creates viruses -- both for computers and illnesses through human hands. He destroys through others. I don't understand the romanticized notion that he's a gambler who makes bets. I don't believe he's in charge of Hell, like most people do. He's a cannibal

I read an interesting anecdote once that described Hell as a vast desert. In charge of the water was a ten foot tall black angel who wouldn't give water to anyone in Hell unless they asked, nicely, for water. I believe that rapists, child molesters and serial murderers end up there. I believe you have to do something seriously evil to end up there. I don't believe that people who commit suicide or refuse to atone for their "sins" end up there. Rape and child molestation is a more serious offense than a "sin." I honestly believe that God/dess hates rape and sexual abuse. There is no rape in Heaven, or the Summerland, as the Wiccans refer to it. I firmly believe that child abuse is a sin. I don't think God meant for us to hit our kids. If you look at what Solomon said more objectively then just believing it because it is in the Bible, you'll see that most of it is nonsense. Jesus never hit kids.

"...is so important to our spiritual health." Words from my pastor. The one who is also a friend who wrote these words in a plea to those who've abandoned his cafe/ministry.

I might as well be honest, I rarely go to church. I don't think most church environments are all that spiritually healthy for a free thinker like myself. I like to think I think outside the box most of the time. I do not accept most dogma at face value. I don't accept that the men who have written and made their interpretation of much dogma into tradition at most churches always knew what they were talking about, or had a balanced perspective. I don't really understand why a lot of men are the way they are -- thinking they are so much more intelligent or spiritual than the average woman. Its crap. A lot of women think they have more common sense then men as well, but women aren't able to force this crap (and it is crap) down men's throats.

The cafe he ran was rife with people who have no class. Mostly creepy men. He, himself, is nice to everyone. He is so nice it is a flaw. He doesn't chase off the creeps. Some women in his congregation don't like being called "hot lips" or having their ass patted by these creeps. He is unswayable in letting the riff raff hang around. He married a friend of mine and her beau years ago. She went to him and complained about her new hubby pushing her for sex and reaching for her body parts without permission. Not only did the pastor not have a problem with the sexual abuse, he also did not have a problem with the new hubby verbally abusing my friend simply because he didn't like the way she talked. The pastor did not have a problem with the rampant criticism her new hubby was dishing out.

And, there is nothing unusual about this pastor's attitude. I think if you wanna waste your time saving the unsalvageable (by that I mean creepy perverts), you are going to waste the opportunity to save those who are able to be saved.

To be fair, he does sometimes take a stand against sexual abuse, being a survivor himself....

I think I will start with the good news. My pastor friend, who had numerous health problems including kidney failure, a heart condition and diabetes as well as scarring and such from upwards of 100 surgeries on his "guts," is doing a little better then he was years ago. They found "spots" in his intestines that they thought might be cancerous tumors. Well, many many of us were praying for him. I was focused my healing energy on him predominantly for a month or so during my meditations. People actually laid hands on him and said numerous prayers for him. Eventually he got a letter in the mail from the doctors that did an MRI to check out what the spots might actually be. They were gone. A woman had called another pastor that he knew and she said she had a vision of someone's intestines healing up.

Another friend of his that helped with the Saturday services at the cafe said a prayer of thanks during the service because of the healing that took place. He stated that we were all grateful we could keep the pastor here with us.... I laughed a little -- after all that is kind of what it is all about isn't it -- keeping people here with us. They might go to a better place when they go, but we want them to stay with us, after all. My pastor friend is a very busy and popular man. People here in town really love him a lot; he helps a lot of people.... I particularly like him because he takes a stand against sexual predators sometimes. It's nice and unfortunately, rather rare. He doesn't live in total denial like so many people do.

Speaking of sexual predators, on to the bad news. My pastor friend was brought to a custody hearing several years ago, because a young boy reported his father to my friend for molesting him. The boy was four years old. My friend took down the information and put everything the boy said in quotes. The mother was apparently reporting the abuse to everyone she knew. The father (and I use the word "father" very loosely here) acquired a lawyer for the custody hearing and alleged that she planted the idea of sexual abuse in the boys head. The father has a history of being a sexual predator, and alleged that she was using his past history to put ideas in the boys head. The mother could not afford a lawyer for the custody hearing, and decided to defend herself. She was going for full custody....

The judge decided to award the father full custody and deny all visitation for the mother. The investigation into the boy's allegations of sexual abuse was dropped.

How despicable is that?!

I was lighting candles morning and evening for about a week after I found out, in prayer for that little boy. I have seen first hand what that kind of incest and abuse does to a person in my old best friend. It really messes a child up. It can lead to a life time of victimization and playing the victim. The damage it does to a person's self esteem, self respect, and emotional health cannot be downplayed. It opens the door to addictions and abuse. Many children who are sexually abused turn around and do it to others, because they identify with their abusers....

These judges are either guilty of these offenses or they must really believe that the justice system "fixes" predators. I swear you cannot fix a chicken killing dog.... Common sense ain't so common.... I don't care how much you beat a cowardly dog, lock them up or try to talk sense to them it will not work. It is so very difficult to get a second conviction for child molesters no matter how guilty they are. Same thing with your run-of-the-mill rapist. You cannot reason with these monsters. They simply don't care. They don't have a heart. They are good at impersonating people who care, really they are. I've seen first hand how hard it is to convince any authority figure that the monster has gone on another rampage -- they must really think the system works.....

So many people operate under dangerous delusions. I know it is normal and human nature to want to believe the best of others and deny things that we cannot wrap our minds around. But when we sacrifice children to the monsters to preserve our own ideas of the status quo, things go to hell in a handbasket rather quickly. Please pray for this poor little kid. He needs all the prayer and hope he can get. An angel told me "Like that's never happened before!" when I was thinking about the father's allegations, but then again only 2% of any victims of any crime lie about the crime. Maybe it has happened in the past, but it would certainly be a rare thing.

Sexual predators get away with murder in this country. The problem is rampant and of epidemic proportions.

I also know for a fact, churches are not a safe environment to talk about domestic violence/sexual abuse/rape, etc. Most church leaders want everyone to stay "safely" in denial on this widespread problem. This pastor basically told me I should stop talking about the subject because some men in his congregation were passionately arguing with me about my perspective on the subject. No concern or compassion was extended to me for what I went through. Instead just arguments....

Arguments. Another reason I stay away from the average church. If God wanted me to engage in stupid arguments over dogma, he would put me back in touch with my family..... God took me away from my family full of addicts, alkies and codependent types. Functional middle class type addicts, I must add. My family looks very presentable to the casual observer. Me, I am a free spirit. I do what I wanna do.

I took Peter, Paul, Solomon and Saul's words out of my bible at one point in my life. (I was enraged at Jesus at the time) You can cover them up in yours. They all silenced women with violence and "laws". You can easily miss the next three paragraphs, as well as what everyone else has to say trying to figure out what they were talking about, if anything. (Why are there no women writers in "God's Book?" Men used to prevent women from publishing. Not everyone who wrote these books wrote for God, wrote the truth, or cared for love. Everyone has free will. Love is affection, not sex. Violence is not part of a legal marraige contract, and breaks said legal contract. If you do violence (including all forms of rape -- a husband is supposed to also submit his body to his wife's will, meaning if she says no, it means no) to your mate, you have written a legal certificate of divorce. No woman has to stay with a batterer. Don't stay with violent people, you will only learn violence.

The devil is a Nazi, meaning he orchestrated racism. He's a rapist, a psychopath, and a perpetrator of genocide. He is a "dragon" that enjoys consuming humans and all other life -- painfully.... Rape is blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. "Don't resist an evil person." - Jesus. (Does that include evil spirits? Don't resist evil spirits? I think not, perhaps)

Matthew 10:5-8 5 These twelve Jesus sent out with the following instructions: “Do not go among the Gentiles or enter any town of the Samaritans. 6 Go rather to the lost sheep of Israel. 7 As you go, proclaim this message: ‘The kingdom of heaven has come near.’ 8 Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy,[a] drive out demons. Freely you have received; freely give.

Matthew 12:43-45 43 “When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. 44 Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. 45 Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first. That is how it will be with this wicked generation.”

First of all, I want to say that demons are real creatures. People have talked of demons and evil spirits and all kinds of stuff like that for generations – perhaps since the humanity’s beginnings. Just because it’s dead doesn’t mean it’s wise….

There is no need to be freaked out by the unseen, the paranormal, the supernatural, evil spirits, etc. etc. etc.

Matthew 10:28 Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.

My pastor friend is a wonderful male friend who is perfectly content being a close platonic friend. The café was right down the block from where I live.

I’ll be frank, the only reason I hung out in that Christian café is because he ran the place. I had casual female friends that also hung out there that are full-blooded Christian women. There was a group or clique of three or four of them that know all the conspiracy theories, that are all freaked out by demons and demonic stuff, and that are extremely prejudiced towards other religions. I cannot even begin to educate these silly geese… they are so frightened of anything outside of their ideas of traditional Christian values.

I exchanged emails with one of the women. She was utterly determined to prove to me that I have a serious demon problem…. She wanted to take me to “Deliverance Ministries” so they can cast them all out. I guess having a Goddess and using cards is symptomatic of that….. She came right out and said that she and her cronies want me to change….. Oh, yeah, that’s gonna happen…. I’ll get right on it. She wouldn’t hear anything that opposes her stereotypes, especially that Wiccans who look at child porn are not really Wiccans….

As a matter of fact, I think she hears very little of what I say. She talks too darn much.

She reads all these Rebecca Brown, M.D. books. I’ll leave it up to google to illustrate just what kind of character Rebecca Brown really is. However she “converted” a “witch” who was “married to Satan” and worked at a hospital more or less “infested with devil worshippers.” She wrote all about it. They carry around her books like they are more important then their Bibble….

This is not to say that I have not had problems with Lucy (Lucifer) and the Smurfs (demons). For about five years straight I had nightmares every night with Lucy in them. It was like this twisted chess game, where he would cheat and molest children and murder people in the dreams, but would hide from any direct confrontation with me. I could sense him there. He would use evil magic and stuff. I learned from all these dreams that it is okay, at least in the dream reality, to kill perverts – and I did. But he was never available to me to kill. Long, long ago I was taught by people to face the monsters in bad dreams – and I have ever since. It took me a long time to figure out that Lucy was actually tampering with my sleep.

I’ve had “hauntings” too. Thuds on the wall, footsteps in the hall, dishes rattling just as I am drifting off to sleep, phone ringing when I am sleeping lightly yet nothing being on the caller ID and no ringing when I am awake. I have had my memories tampered with. I used to have problems with false memories while meditating and trying to sleep of things others or myself had never done or experienced. The memories were often irretrievable later as well. I’d have experiences of remembering violence or things that had never been said that I couldn’t remember after the smurf went away.

Lucy said nasty things too. He tried to use scripture to make me feel like crap about myself or make me repent for things that are over and done with. He tried to convince me of things like demon’s “legal grounds.” Lucy and the smurfs don’t obey any rules. They just have limited power to affect the material world. They can do things that are invisible, like get inside your head, affect your emotions and cause cravings for things. They can tamper with the body and your health with a great deal of effort on their parts. He is unfailingly sexist. He will not be any other way. He likes obscenities and cussing. They can make noises. However that is about the extent of their power…. Oh sure, if you want to do evil things and let them possess you, they will…. They cannot buy souls no matter what the urban legends say. They cannot destroy souls.

I tried to ignore all that stuff. I didn’t even bother talking to Lucy. He can get me to respond to what he says in my mind, but not out loud. Lucy and the smurfs are all old enough that they have heard the best arguments, persuasion and all that other stuff. Sometimes the disturbances make me crack up because they are so petulant. I enjoy annoying Lucy and the smurfs, that is why I gave them those names. They hate being laughed at. They hate lights and music. They hate Jesus, God and the Goddess. I enjoy the truth. None of them stay inside my head for long…

I did need Jesus to cast them out of my dreams, mind and my house. None of us can get them to leave without some divine assistance. They are, however, persistent and will come back, repeatedly if necessary to forward their agendas….. I asked Jesus to permanently keep Lucy out of my dreams. I asked the pastor for some prayer work with the "hauntings." I had to ask a few nights in a row. However, that was very effective. I have not had any bizarre nightmares since. Just a few ordinary ones.

As far as that scripture at the very top goes…. I’ve done a bit of talking to people about Heaven. I don’t know about doing any of that other stuff. I think Jesus was challenging people to make them see how hard He worked when He was here and just what He had to put up with. I don’t really think it’s possible for us to raise the dead. I think people were jealous and judged Him as a lazy person because He didn’t hold down an ordinary kind of job…. I think perhaps we can do healing to a limited extent and can be a catalyst for getting demons out of people and such…

Demons do not have the right to be! I wish they were all dead. They simply do not have the right to bother children at all. They are rapists and thus should not be around little kids. Ever.

Yes, evil spirits are real. I have seen and heard enough evidence that proves it. Many hauntings are actually Lucy and the smurfs. Many “helpful” spirits that want to enter our bodies are not helpful at all. They may look and sound humanoid, but they are not friendly and do not have good intentions. Only evil spirits want to use bodies that do not belong to them. They may say and do things that confuse us about their intentions, but honestly, do not ever loan your body to any spirit. They do not have the right to bother you at all, no matter what you have done or said. God did not give them rights…. They just run amok. Like criminals. It doesn't matter if you do "things" to "invite" them or not. Inanimate objects are inanimate objects. Tarot cards are no more likely to have demons than your average handgun.

If I could choose to erase only 1 thing from the Bibble -- it would be this. The rest of it can grudgingly stay Ig:

Revelation 22:18-19
I testify to everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: if anyone adds to them, God will add to him the plagues which are written in this book; and if anyone takes away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God will take away his part from the tree of life and from the holy city, which are written in this book.

I mean seriously, everybody. EVERYBODY cherrypicks shit from that book. So its my turn All mythology is equal and that book (except direct quotes from Jesus) were written by men, and even those were translated by men.

I made a little pamphlet that explains why people are leaving the churches in droves: Top Ten Reasons